Today I started a rabbinical school prep program that lasts until the end of July. I have to admit its very daunting. Most of these people are older and more learned than me and its a very big commitment. But Judaism has been a part of my life forever. My mother was a hebrew school teacher, we went to synagogue every weekend, and we celebrated every holiday. I went to day school in middle and high school and since then I have felt so connected. I really enjoy feeling apart of a culture and a community that is so intricate and loving. Rabbinical school has been my goal for a while but ever since I got sick it has become less certain whether or not i can even do it. My health is very fragile at this moment and I don’t know if I can be in school for another 5 years. I want to have the life I always dreamed of. The one with a partner and kids and a career I love, but what if that isnt my path? What if I never meet someone? or I cant possibly take care of children? or I cant work because I am too sick? I want to follow my dreams, but what if it goes wrong? I feel like this summer is going to be a test for me whether or not this is really something I am going to do. I know that if this doesn’t go as planned there will be something else. Even though i dont know what their point is, I know that ha shem has provided a path for me and that is enough to keep me going.